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help sorting out their lives and, most knows you’re really paying attention. ent, it doesn’t matter that they’ll soon
important, love. In the turbulence of • Take the long view. Don’t treat feel differently.
growing up, it is important for us par-
ents to remember (even if our teens minor mishaps as major catastrophes. • Don’t judge. State facts instead
seem to forget) that we love each oth- Choose the important issues. Don’t of opinions when you praise or crit-
er. In the end, that’s what makes the make your home a battleground. icize. Stating facts like “Your poem
whole struggle worthwhile. made me smile,” or “This report card
• Tolerate differences. View your is all Cs and Ds!” leaves it up to your
How Well Do We Know Our Kids? teenager as an individual distinct from teen to draw the appropriate conclu-
You may say, “My teenager you. This doesn’t mean you can’t state sions. Teens are sensitive about being
your opinion if you disagree. judged — positively as well as nega-
wouldn’t do that.” Most don’t. But tively.
even if yours wouldn’t, think about the • Respect your teenager’s pri-
following questions: Where is your vacy. If a behaviour is worrying you, • Be generous with praise. Praise
child right now? What are your teen’s speak up. your child’s efforts, not just accom-
deepest fears? Who is your son or plishments. And don’t comment on
daughter’s best friend? Do your teen’s • Let your teens sort things out the person. “You’re a great artist” is
friends feel welcome in your home? themselves. Never say that you know hard to live up to. “I loved that draw-
Remember, a strong relationship with how your teen feels. They believe ing” is a fact and comes from your
your children is the best way for you their feelings (so new and personal) heart.
to guide them, and to prevent them are unique. They’ll learn otherwise
from becoming a sorry statistic. without your help. And never imply • Set reasonable limits. Teens
that their feelings don’t matter or will need them. Your rules should be con-
Getting Along With Our Teen. change. Because teens live in the pres- sistently applied and rooted in your
Here are some ideas and tech- deepest beliefs and values.
niques you can try to improve your • Teach your teen to make sen-
relationship with your teen. If they sible decisions and choices by encour-
don’t work at first, keep trying. They aging independence and letting your
take practice. teenager make mistakes. Don’t step in
unless you have to.
• Make time for your teen. Find
an activity you enjoy doing together How to Make Anger Work.
and pursue it. If your invitations are All parents get furious at their
declined, keep asking.
children. We can’t help it. But some
• Listen, really listen. Because parents feel bad about being angry
parents have so much to do and so and keep quiet. Though it’s easy to say
little time, we often try to listen while things in anger that you don’t mean,
cleaning, washing dishes or fixing the anger can also spark talks that will
car. Put your chores aside so your teen help you and your teen get to know
each other better.
IPC
carmel 54
ABU DHABI
