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Some Guidelines For Parents accidents. A teen with a problem may our teen and the two of us can’t find
• When you get mad, don’t have dilated pupils or wear sunglass- compromise. We have trouble keeping
es indoors, or complain about not a job. We get violent with our teenager
blame or accuse. Say how you feel sleeping or not feeling well. Valuables and can’t control. Our spouse gets vio-
annoyed, irritated, upset, etc. and may disappear. You may find drug lent with us and the child.
why. Be specific. Talk facts. Blaming paraphernalia or alcohol containers Importance of Spirituality
only forces a teen to argue his point, around the house.
arouses tempers, and kills dialogue. Bible very clearly asks us to
Think solution, not victory. Don’t try • A recent change in friends who “Bring up a child in the way he should
to win arguments. Stick to the pres- you feel may be involved with drugs or go and when he is old, he will not de-
ent incident. Fighting old battles will alcohol may indicate that your child is part from it [Prov. 22:6].Attitudes have
only aggravate a situation. Be careful involved or be a sign that your child been fixed and habits have become
not to attack your teen’s person or is having other problems. Law-break- rigid. If we want to turn this tide, the
character. Say, “I’m furious that you ing behaviour, even if the police and effort must begin with children when
didn’t clean up after the mess you courts aren’t involved. You might they are young and teachable, when
made” not, “You’re a lazy slob!” Your notice new possessions and money they will listen and learn.
son or daughter may give up trying not accounted for. Poor self-image.
to improve. If the situation is touchy, Doubts are normal. But persistently Our homes must be a Christian
put your ideas in a letter. You can say low self-esteem is a problem. home where Jesus Christ is the head,
exactly what you mean and your teen not just in a wall hanging. There must
will have time to think it over before • Serious depression. Loneli- be family and individual prayer and
answering. ness, withdrawal, difficulty making bible study attended/ participated
friends. Rebelliousness to the point of by child. Singing and bible reading
Signs That Our Child Needs Outside total, continual defiance. Problems at must be part of daily activities. Meals
Help. school, including class cutting, absen- must be given/taken with thanksgiv-
teeism, a sudden drop in grades. Fears ing. Sunday teaching must be done
• Suicidal talk of any kind. A or anxieties that interfere with every- by born again uncles and aunties who
suicidal teen may also give away val- day activities. follow biblical principles.
ued possessions, make a casual/seri-
ous talk about death or dying or say • Problems between family Evil talks, gossips, revengeful
his family would be better off. Recent members that aren’t solved by listen- activities, greedy behaviours, power/
changes in sleeping or eating habits, ing and discussing. In fact, family position grabbing activities and any
thinking patterns, personality, friend- changes such as a death, divorce or other things which may have nega-
ships, study habits, activities. A sud- remarriage are times when teens often tive influence on child/teenager must
den unexplained end to a long depres- need some outside help. be avoided. Respecting one another
sion often precedes a suicide attempt. including elders must become part
When to Get Help for Ourselves. of our lives. This includes relation-
• Drug or alcohol use. You might • Things aren’t going well in our ship between family/extended family/
notice: irrational or irresponsible be- neighbours and church families. Val-
havior, lying, secretiveness, severe family but we can’t figure out why. We ue of money, importance of tithing,
mood swings, a sudden increase in disagree totally with positions our church activities including missions
spouse has taken on issues concerning be part of daily life. Churches must
teach, not only preach and worship.
TINGMost churches ignore teaching as
preaching has become primary focus.
The teaching must include Bible, teen-
age life and premarital counselling.
Premarital counselling must start in
Sunday school, not just 1hr session
just before marriage. Teaching sub-
jects like personality development,
sex, relationships must begin at home/
Sunday school and church. Family
must include extended family, neigh-
bours and church family. One family’s
struggles are everyone’s struggles.
55 10CELEBRA
years
of god’s faithfulness
